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lamapalooza:

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

svveden:

svveden:

what do you call a sphere full of idiots

earth

unprintable:

How do people do backflips and shit? like i can’t even flip my grilled cheese without fucking up

thegoddess-afrodite:

reblogalert:

Lifehack: Accidentally text the wrong person? Immediately put your phone on airplane mode and once it fails to deliver, delete the message.

This can save lives

Dispatcher: 911, whats your emergency?
Me: Is ya'll hiring?

ermerlier:

yougobro:

So only home girl from frozen can turn up

There’s is nothing I don’t love about that sentence

parynoid:

when you look cute in a snapchat and they don’t reply image